Jumat, 25 April 2014

hey, kamu. terima kasih.

he taught me something today. he taught me how to be more honest with my feeling and myself. always tell him what I feel and what I want. um, I mean what I want him to do for me. just like if I want him to tell me wherever he is, what he does, with whom he was there.. no, I'm not really an insecure girlfriend at all. I just want to know what he is doing there hehe. 
since we have a long distance relationship since april 14th 2014, there is nothing we could do except always keep in touch by text, phone-call, chat or even video-call sometimes (my signal in this room is so fckn bad. so if we have video-call,  the screen will be blured by itself damnit).
this evening, he went to someplace with his bestfriend (girl). he ask for permission and I said 'yes'..
after he arrived at the destination, hmm he updated something that showed he was with his bestfriend. (ex: at Someplace with Someone).. as i saw it, um i dont know i just felt something strange. no, i'm not jealous at all. i know him. i know him wont break my confidence, i know he know what he has to do. i just feel, i'm envying his bestfriend! i envy her because she is hang out with my boyfriend before i could. haha sounds sooo redundant but that was what i feel this evening. i will not blame his bestfriend for took him out. I WILL NOT. i know who she is. i think she is a good girl, even i haven't meet or talking with her yet. he tell me all about her. how she always give advice for him, she told him every stories of hers.. and he said his bestfriend say hello to me! hihi.
and when he went home, he called me, he asked what happened with me. i said nothing... (girl is just a girl haha).but he know there is something different with me. but we didnt countinuing the conversation on phone, i texted him. and then i told him what i really felt. then, he apologized (which he actually didnt have to do), he explain everything and he said i dont have to worry on him. he said i can trust him
and in the end, thanks for taught me something...what i got from him today was..be honest with yourself..tell him what i feel, dont be shame, and manyyyy more.. well, I love you Feb.